Within and Without
Some people go to great lengths to fit in. But how far is too far?
After her parent’s divorce, sixteen-year-old Wren Newmann is forced to move from a small California town to her grandmother’s vineyard, where she’s convinced she’ll die a shriveled, wine-country virgin. Her dad’s gone AWOL, her mom’s hooking up with anything in pants, and her best friend has found the love of her life. Apart from the annoying but cute Greek farmhand Panayis, who doesn’t appear to notice her awkwardness or thunder thighs, Wren’s life has hit an all-time low.
That is until her own dating life improves unexpectedly when Jay, Wren’s long-time country crush, notices her. Yet it’s as if people don’t want her to be happy, with their warnings and advice that perhaps Jay isn’t the right guy for her. But they don’t know, and Wren’s done being Beached Whale Girl. She’s determined to become social, skinny, and sexy, because Jay wants her—every part of her.
Though her anxiety and secret purging sessions sing another warning that she finds hard to ignore. And when a series of personal tragedies strikes, Wren’s life is flipped upside down and she’s left to pick up the pieces of her broken relationships. Now, she must find the inner strength to decide if the illusion of being loved is worth sacrificing her health, and maybe even her life.
Described as “unflinching and authentic,” WITHIN AND WITHOUT is a stunning debut that touches on a teenage girl’s emotionally haunting journey to self acceptance “that will stay with you long after you turn the last page.”
“Unflinching, authentic, and the perfect mixture of bold and sweet, WITHIN AND WITHOUT is a story readers will lose themselves in more than once. A debut both heartwarming and heartbreaking from an exciting new voice in YA literature.”
—Laurie Elizabeth Flynn, author of Firsts and Last Girl Lied To
“A moving portrait of first love, friendship, and the pressures we put upon ourselves daily.
Maroulis tackles the delicate subject of eating disorders with a realistic pen, all while maintaining a humorous and hopeful tone. WITHIN AND WITHOUT will stay with you long after you turn the last page.”
—Samantha Joyce, author of Flirting with Fame
“A heartfelt and moving story of friendship, first love, and finding yourself. Maroulis isn’t afraid to tackle tough topics to show that finding love requires learning to love yourself.”
—Kelly deVos, author of Fat Girl on a Plane
Within and Without by Deborah Maroulis
Publication Date: May 28, 2019
Publisher: Lakewater Press
Link to Goodreads:
That time when Granny makes a cake for dinner
As Robin backs her car out of the driveway, I slump into a chair at the kitchen table. Granny stands by the stove with a huge bowl cradled in her left arm. Her right hand rapidly mixes ingredients—whatever they are. I smirk at her outfit—a flowered long-john shirt under her too-big overalls, giant cuffs rolled up below her knees. Slippers replace her rubber “vineyard” boots, and her hair is tucked into a messy bun.
“Hey, Granny. What’re you making?” I scoot the chair, and its legs grate against the refurbished barn-wood floor. Faded wallpaper and family pictures that go back decades dominate
the walls. A few empty spots stick out like missing puzzle pieces in the barrage of photos. Probably removed because my dad’s in them.
I pick a small apple from the bowl on the butcher block and bite into it, immediately cursing myself for not thinking before shoving food in my face. In his pen, Fengari chews a rubber steak, barking at it every time it squeaks.
“I am making dinner.” She grins over her shoulder. Benny Goodman plays in the background, Granny’s feet sidestepping to the beat as she empties the bowl into two baking pans and slides them into the oven.
“Granny, that's a cake.”
She nods and winks. “I always knew you were the smart one.” She rinses the bowl and dries it. “Cake has milk, eggs, all kinds of healthy stuff, and sometimes you just need a good cake for dinner.”